Stef attending Vermont State University graduation

My 2024 Commencement Speech to Castleton University

From Graduate to Commencement Speaker

In 2018, I sustained my injuries. In 2020, I graduated from Castleton University

And this year, 2024, I was asked to be the commencement speaker at the university’s graduation ceremony. It was a full-circle moment.

Even though I am an alumnus and have done many public speaking events before, I questioned why I was asked to be the speaker. Immediately, doubts found me, and I asked myself: What did I really have to offer these graduating students?

When I thought of a college graduation speaker, I pictured someone high-ranking in their field with stories of climbing the corporate ladder. I pictured someone sharing with the students how to thrive in their chosen field. And I had only returned to working a “traditional job” about six months ago.

I did not have a typical career path. I didn’t even have a typical college experience, but then I realized this was exactly why I was chosen.

What I had to share in a commencement speech would be less about a specific career and more about how to thrive in life itself – which, I thought, would carry over into whatever chapter each student pursued next.

I could speak to navigating the hardships of life and, hopefully, inspire graduates to believe that no challenge they may face will ever be too big to figure out.

And so, despite my initial hesitation, I agreed to be the commencement speaker.

Stef in graduation cap and gown

What Can We All Relate To?

When writing a speech, I try to find a balance between sharing my story and addressing each specific crowd.

My life with a disability is not relatable to everyone, but the lessons that I learned from it relate to us all. So, I always hope that in sharing my story, there are words, phrases, and sections that will relate to the individuals listening.

The following sections from my speech are those that I believe will stand out to you all.

Vermont State University graduation

A Different Kind of Graduation

It was not that long ago that I graduated from this same university, though my graduation day was far different from today’s celebration.

I bring this up to share that I was not a “typical” college student, and my college graduation did not go as I had always envisioned it would – with the gown and cap you wear today. Though there were gowns and there were caps involved, mine were instead the hospital gown that I wore and the surgical scrub caps worn by those around me.

See, I submitted my final pieces of collegiate work from a hospital bed at Massachusetts General Hospital. I studied while on bed rest and took final exams while recovering from surgery.

Selflessness During Panic

The following moments were of course ones of chaos and panic, but they were also moments filled with heroic action and selfless bravery as those around me sprung into action. Proving that in life, it is not what happens to us that defines us nearly as much as it is our responses to these moments. It was their actions – their responses – that saved my life.

A Spark From Darkness

So I cried, I grieved, and then I came up with a plan. About a week or so after being told this life-altering news, I sat in the darkness of this hospital room with my family around me once more. This time, we researched prosthetic legs and the technology available to replace my limbs.

I decided right then that if I was now an amputee, well, then I would be the very best amputee that I could be.

I would work harder than I ever had before, and I would get so good at walking with my new legs that eventually, everything would go back to being the same. 

The plan gave me hope.

Aim Higher

I watched as they gently pressed pins into my legs and realized I could not feel them. I was appalled when they asked me to move my muscles and realized I could not move them. Sensation and movement both seemingly gone.

Then I listened as they told me that my back had not only broken but there was damage to my spinal cord. And I was paralyzed.

This time, there was no plan that came to mind for how to fix this.

Thinking back to that moment, I want to ask all of you a question: If we only aim for the goals we are absolutely sure, or at least fairly confident, that we can meet, won’t there always be a part of us that wonders what else we are capable of?

What happens when we aim for the goals that we believe or are even told we’ll never achieve?

And then why is it that we allow ourselves to measure some goals as realistic and others as not?

A Plan in Action

Goals are impossible when we do not have a plan – because we cannot reach a new destination without first mapping out the directions.

In the years that followed, I spent countless hours in hospitals and physical therapy clinics. Dedicating myself to the fight for my recovery in a way I had never fought before.

An Unexpected Turn

I began to write down my story, page by page and chapter by chapter, continuing even when it felt like this project would never be completed. Two years later, after writing, editing, and then publishing, I watched as my memoir, “Without Any Warning,” soared to be an International Best Seller.

Suddenly, I had the goal to make that day that had taken so much also be the day that I gained from and grew from. Growing up, public speaking had been my greatest fear – but I began doing TV interviews, podcast interviews, and newspaper interviews, and I realized it had not been so much the fear of speaking to crowds as it had been the fear of making a mistake or failing in some way.

And so, I began working as a public speaker.

What Are You Capable Of?

Looking back, I can see how my challenges had become my chances to learn, and my obstacles had become my opportunities to grow.

Because now, I know that we can never know the strength that we have within us, until we are forced to find it.

So, I hope that when you leave here today and you set out into your next chapters, you not only feel capable of handling the challenges to come, but you feel eager for them, knowing they might just allow you to pursue new passions, gain new insights, and create a life you never even dared to imagine.

Stef in graduation cap and gown

Final Thoughts

One of my absolute favorite parts of giving this graduation speech was the not-so-small fact that, this time, I stood from my chair on the stage after being introduced. I walked to the podium, and I stood while I spoke.

It had been a long time since I’d given a speech, and it’s fair to say that I was a bit nervous.

As I finished my speech and walked back toward my chair, the nerves or the focus on not falling across that stage kept me from noticing something else – the standing ovation.

I took a long break from public speaking because those thoughts of doubt I mentioned earlier had followed me for quite some time.

I had been asking myself what I could share with anyone other than the fact that I had survived a bad accident. I had doubted that the stories I created and the life I had been living were worth sharing with anyone. But after this graduation ceremony, I stopped doubting myself.

Participating in public speaking events was not about sharing what had happened to me but rather about what I had made from it. Each speech I gave was about what I had learned from this story and how I had grown from it. I was not “stuck in the past” or dwelling on one chapter of my life – I was creating a new chapter.

Through the hardships I have faced, I have learned many lessons, which I want to share.

I am thankful to have been asked to speak at this event and thankful that I agreed to do it. Now, I feel motivated and eager to get back into the public speaking space, knowing how much I have to share with each crowd.

I am also thankful for groups of people like all of you out there who read my social media post captions, engage with the comments, and read these blog posts that I share. In these ways, you have all been telling me that my stories are, in fact, worth sharing because they are worth it to you.

I hope that in future posts, there will be more announcements of public speaking events, and I look forward to sharing those moments with you.

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